WWI Illustrated Poem
The Sounds of Bells
The air is filled
with the sounds of bells
The cows are here! Here they are!
They jingle past the doorways
the tingle giving pleasure to inmates.
The air is filled
with the sounds of bells
The soldiers are here! Here they are!
They march past the doorways
the welcoming peals of bells
linger giving pleasure to the soldiers.
The air is filled
with the sounds of guns
The foes are here! Here they are!
Bang bang the bullets boom past the trenches
as the soldiers crawl over the blood-dried barbed wires
and enter no man's land
bodies scattered like dead autumn leaves .
The air is thick
The air is thick
The dead are here! Here they are!
buried cold and pale
as the moaners circle the graves
the cries echo in the hills.
SuBin
citations
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6d/A_World_War_1_Story,_Part_6._Hutt_Valley,_Wellington,_New_Zealand,_14_April_1916_(437353411).jpg
http://dailydish.typepad.com/the_daily_dish/images/einsatz1.jpg
http://www.ralphmag.org/CG/war-dead388x278.gif
http://www.southlakes-uk.co.uk/old/thegillww1.jpg
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/10_02/trenchPA_468x607.jpg
3 comments:
Hey Subin,
Your poem is amazing it has brilliant rhythm and vocabulary as well as onomatopoeia which makes it flow. You might be able to improve on some lines in the poem as they are a little choppy but the images are brilliant well done :D
Hey SuBin, I really like your poem! it has so much repetition and a really nice rhythm! The repetition made the poem flow and you also used good vocabulary, which makes the poem more interesting! You could maybe improve your poem by adding some words to sentences so they dont sound chopped off but otherwise, great job!!!!
Subin,
I thought your poem was really good. I really liked how you didn't just tell what was happening, but you showed and your good word choice really added to that. I also liked how you used imagery, rhythm, and repetition. I think your pictures really added to your poem too, and they really fit what you were trying to show. I think maybe next time, you could work on your stanzas a bit and break them up better because one paragraph has 5 lines while the other has 6 or 7 lines.
Other than that, good job!
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